Brain is Underpressure

2011-10-11T00:22:00.000+09:00

I forgot what to write here.

Like I'm forgetting almost half about you.

2011-08-28T03:48:00.000+09:00

:)

2011-08-28T03:12:00.001+09:00

formspring.me

2011-08-05T19:28:00.003+09:00

Surprise me! :) http://formspring.me/ohnoitsjamie

formspring.me

2011-08-05T19:28:00.001+09:00

Surprise me! :) http://formspring.me/ohnoitsjamie

formspring.me

2011-07-24T13:12:00.001+09:00

That's it? Oh, more surprises! :) http://formspring.me/ohnoitsjamie

formspring.me

2011-07-24T12:27:00.001+09:00

Surprise me! :) http://formspring.me/ohnoitsjamie

formspring.me

2011-07-24T00:06:00.001+09:00

Surprise me! :) http://formspring.me/ohnoitsjamie

the start of 2010.

2011-07-04T21:52:00.002+09:00

I have turned and will go back to to 2010 again.

Where I started my dreams, my life as a friend, a sister, a daughter and a follower.

This 2011, my 2010 has just started.

And it's starting with the sadness of the heart.

at the end of the line

2011-07-02T15:44:00.002+09:00

there are two only options that at the end of the line. Breaking up or marrying the person.

I don't know of I'm going to hate you or myself at some point of my life where we couldn't blame ourselves in taking each other for granted.

No one really wants to understand. No one's even willing to listen. No one wants to make things work-- they started thinking about themselves and forgetting what they have as a whole.

Relationship sucks when the other one' stops trying.

Redemption

2011-06-30T17:27:00.000+09:00

If you wished to have your life turned around and have it the way you think your life must be at this point of your life, let me tell you, you’re not alone.

I have thought of so many things already for so many times in almost two weeks now, and perhaps if you’re going to ask me if I already have the answers, I’ll probably give you the lamest answer ever.

*******

I miss writing. I missed it like more than hell. I miss everything about writing. I miss putting things into words and saving them and thinking of posting it for some emo, rainy days. I miss everything that comes before and after my fingers do all the tapping on my tear-soaked-over-harrassed company laptop (this is going to be another testimony of how lame it was, but hey, it was all worth it).

And I miss how I planned my life according to my wants, will, and own self-purpose. I haven’t realized it all until I realized that my life is going nowhere, stuck between mind and soul. Yeah, forget the stupid mumbling of emotions. It wouldn’t give you the answers for any of your life’s awful questions. It isn’t going to be an ordinary college departmental exam that unimaginably can make you think of any possible way of passing. Again, for me, it is something I call shizniz. Lame.

I have to go back to basic. More than basic. Ground zero, to tell you honestly.

The life I wanted isn’t going there. The person I thought I could rely on goes so simply focused on anything overwhelming. Yeah. New world. Whatever.

And I had to go turn my head and see what I have almost forgotten.

Myself.

And I had to go back and redeem everything I have lost, emotionally.

This is going to be a close fight.

Perhaps or Never?

2010-12-30T16:43:00.001+09:00

Perhaps or Never?

Answer here

2010-11-05T15:58:00.000+09:00

Moving out. Will write somewhere else.

Side B.

2010-10-02T16:54:00.002+09:00

Is currently updating lj.

http://www.cokusaddictus.livejournal.com

booyaaaaaaaah.

2010-09-20T13:03:00.002+09:00

The words aren't going in.

But his words did.

***

Desperate huh.

Ang gulo ng utak ko.

Boohoo, i dont care.

2010-09-14T16:33:00.002+09:00

One thing I really hate when working (pretty much my ass off, excuse my french) is when people just don't see that.

Bitches.

DITCH THAT GUY. NOW!

2010-09-14T09:54:00.006+09:00

I don't want to blame anyone, but hell, I'm blaming one.

I'm really, and when I say really, LIKE SUPER tired this day (heck, the day haven't even starting yet) because of this.

HAHAHAHA.

I hate you Daisy De Aro (Somera? Elk. No effin way. I don't like your husband. Ditch him. And everybody happeeeey. Argh--Oh, when I say I hate you, it doesn't really mean that I do. HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGS.)

Your fault if all I ever do is to watch myself sleep till 4pm. HAHAHAHA.

Now, see that big round eyebags ovah there.

Sure.

2010-09-09T15:35:00.002+09:00

All tired.

Last night.

I checked my face if i still look the same.

Right.

the same.

Just tired.

i love you.

2010-09-09T15:25:00.004+09:00

Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaah! :)

Hot Coffee Choco Ruuussssshhh.

2010-09-09T13:38:00.007+09:00

I want to wear my jump shorts. Or even my denim shorts. But I couldn't.

Because if ever i did, all the necks in the world would be dramatically broken and seeing "Males all dead due to headturn" can be alittle bit exaggerated and the burden is going to be too much already.

I know. Being in the news is too much. ~~Dream~~ Nightmare turned into Reality.

Oh, don't forget.

My man's going to be all incredibly angry hulk if he sees me walking, with all that jazz on me. See the clear picture? Oh yeah you do.

**********************
I am not a coffee person.

REALLY.

More like an acute coffee addict (i don't know where I got that. Reading too much wikipedia entries, i suppose. Acute. chronic. Nice. )

Oh.

There you go. I lied.

I am a coffee person. And to add alil bit spice on that, I am proudly and currently craving for Starbucks' Chocolate Molten Cake.

And Read and Brew's Mocha Frappucinno.

Can I go now? :)

Filled.

2010-09-07T12:55:00.005+09:00

Oh brother.

Yes, my brother.

My brother used to tell me things I don't know. In fact, i feel so little whenever he tells me, "Ate, di naman kasi ganito, ganyan.. dapat ganito ganyan..." Yeah, the scolding part is the last thing i'm going to accept especially hearing it from my 20-year old mr. know-it-all brother.

It seems like he's much, no, waaaay older than me. He scolds me as if I'm the bunso, and he even reminds me of what to do. It's pretty much of a big punch on my face, because the little brother exchanges "you should've done this, done that" with the bunso sister. And who choses to stay quiet? Me.

I miss my brother. I was actually looking for a kuya figure, but i was so blind, so stupid of me coz i oversee things and I actually forgot that I HAVE a brother. A brother who understands. A brother who loves. And a brother to PROTECT. A brother who never runs out of advices. A brother who never hesitates to sit beside you and say, "Ano problema?"

Darn it.

I'm breaking down.

Rest.

2010-08-31T10:23:00.004+09:00

I am hurting.

And for the reason that I can't deny,YES it is because I've expected too much, hoped too much and ended up seeing the truth which I thought would be changed in time.

Hurting made me do things, both good and utterly bad. Bad, because whenever i get into the emotion, i couldnt stop myself from releasing pain that I know i'll end up hurting that person... I know it's wrong. And by all the love I have given, all were forgotten and moved forward and promised myself not to do it again.

Good, because, i let pain live in me... because I loved, the pain still lingers, yet ignored. Yes, i ignored and let the love heal me through and through, and let hopes reign in every God given day.

Every thing passed so faaast. I don't even know where to go. Which arms would comfort me, when I knew exactly it's yours I longed for? Who to talk to, when I knew it's you i need to understand? And who to love completely and unconditionally, when i knew....?

This pain makes me think of what could've been. And what should've been.

this heart, reminds me of the word REST.

that same ordinary day.

2010-08-20T14:59:00.003+09:00

I could've met you in an old football field.

I could've met your eyes while in the transit.

And I could've fallen completely in love with you, if you just came at the right time.

*******

I skipped creating copies, and i don't even care if I'm way too behind creating cms pages. I just don't feel like doing something. Even if it's too darn important.

And frankly, i don't care about anything at all.

All i want to do is cry my heart out, thinking that every God given day will pass, and everything will be back to normal. Geez, if you only knew how much I tried to pull and put every thing back together just because want to feel the same ordinary day that my mom used to tell me how much i've gained weight or how much she loves me. That same ordinary day.

Same ordinary day.

******

I think this heart is going to implode any time soon. Darn it.

2010-08-17T11:55:00.004+09:00

I should've put another . in every sentence in every blog post i made.

roll over and die.

Like 1, 2, 3 and done?

Sana nga.

*******************

biggest lying jerk on board. Wait, he's with the best fault finding bitch. Fasten your seat belts, it's goin' be a bumpy ride of your life.

2010-08-10T13:39:00.003+09:00

This is relatively about something I heard when I thought working too much is going to be this easy.

Have you ever thought of talking to someone you haven't met yet? Through a song? Letter? Or a poem? I have. And I did.

It was few years back when I was feeling curious about what it would be like if there's someone who's actually listening, loving, admiring you without your knowing. It felt kinda weird, well IT WAS WEIRD, though I must admit, it was nice. Nice, because you'll never get to experience fighting with someone over small things, you'll never experience WORRY, ANGER, AND ANXIETY.

It's like love just came, visited and gone. It's funny because you aren't aware that it's already gone. No pain, No bitterness, No anything. See, that's the good side of pretending. Oh. Did i say pretending? Well, i guess it was all pretension. And because you wanted that feeling of wanting that feeling, everything you thought of, is just a product of your mere desperate imagination. Say, out of boredom. Or sadness. Loneliness. Or perhaps, discontentment.

Love is everywhere. So does it hide in most of our imaginations? Or how about dreams? Do we feel love even in our dreams? Perhaps. Maybe. Yes.

So love is omnipresent. Omnipotent. Omniscient. So it's God. Makes more sense now.

So how about.. Anger?

Depression?

Bitterness?

Sadness?

Swell. Love.

Luke Skywalker: Anti Depressant.

2010-08-04T18:51:00.004+09:00

If there's something that made me smile today, well, I don't know how to say this, but it's maybe the first thing I saw/read before writing this. i know, i sound unclear, but hey, if you're a blogger user, you'll understand.

****

Anyways, so you want to understand women? Here's a truth about WOMEN.

-No matter how you categorize them, demean them, define them, or however/whatever you want to do with them (HA! does this sound dandy? HAHA. ) they're almost the same. I tell you.

Did I say ALMOST? Yes, you read that one right. The only thing that divides them into uniqueness is this: HEART.

*****

What if your past keep on haunting you, and yet it seems like it still gives you that 6pm freaky friday madness, what would you do?

I just hope Luke Skywalker would come inside my room and hit that miserable cant-move-on ghost with a lightsaber. SOS. Calling all superheroes to all gather and have an assembly. Come one, come all. An assembly to define human weakness, and weakness i say, frail, sucky HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEART.

Oh geez.

Look at you.

Is that something you need to tell me?

That you're living a good life?

Alright then, i'm happy for you.

I truly appreaciate all your papansin efforts.

Message sent.

Message has been delivered.

Signed. Sealed. Delivered.

Now go.

And don't YOU ever come back.

Or else. Or just else. Take this as a simple short ultimatum.

********

Haay. One more year. Or two. What would you do if I say, Sayonara, Hello Madness?

Doesn't make sense now huh?

I failed.

2010-07-23T18:38:00.003+09:00

The words of Affirmation.

tell me about it.

it's been hell, and i've been dealing THESE like cupcakes with strawberry cream on top. Great dependency. Awesome ~~failure~~ with all the sweetness and humpy dumpy on the side. You know what I mean.

Actions always speak louder than words. I believe that. You may "HELLL NOOOO!" me right now, but hey, this is my blog, this is my THING. Go forth and multiply. (What the hell.)

Anyways, hearing oh-suuu-good sweet nothings from people you love is quite a fancy--believe it or not. It's like a piece of you is telling you to believe it, yet something holds you back--FEAR. Fear? Or the pain of fear?

Seriously, I don't know the difference.

*************

Quality Time.

Invest in your future. Plan Ahead. Do things right.

Nuff. Heard enough of that.

I think hypocrisy is hidden somewhere between the lines.

Sirs, Madams, please. Cut the bull. What we will be in the future ALWAYS falls down with what we are now. You may think of the future, but planning the future is like you're playing God. So what now? Appreciate. Live like you're gonna die later.

Seriously.

*****************

Physical Touch.

PASS.

Case closed.

2010-07-13T11:25:00.004+09:00

No one can ever tell what and how God think.

No one.

Not even you.

His love is incomparable. Unconditional. It doesn't keep any record of wrongs. It doesn't whine. Not even proud.

There, I rest my case.

Dignified.

2010-07-13T10:25:00.004+09:00

I know, i've been a PMS driven, grouchy, distressed beeeeyotch lately.

But it doesn't mean that I already forgotten who I am really and it doesn't even really mean that I already missed a part of me being the soft, heartwarmed, Jamie.

The reason of me falling apart is this: Madness took me over, and I failed to avoid it.

Everyone does. And looking closely to all I have said and done, to tell you honestly, it's not worth it. In fact, I'm just going to end up hurting myself even more. I know I made a mistake, it's fine. I'm just like everybody else. I'm human. Yeah, coming with the cliche: "Born to make mistake/s" (seems too overrated, but yes, I'm still going to credit it). But committing mistakes, because you're human is such a lame excuse--well, as for me.

Feeling so dignified, and knew that I'm thinking way better than any self centered jerk, I tried to correct things--MY way, and I even started to feel so lousy whenever I get mad and explain things on my side. It's like I don't even have the mood to start an argument. Yes, I've let that oh-so-bossy part of me go and buried it six feet below. I even started to cry it all out, thinking that, THIS is going to make me feel better. Yes, it did work. But anyhow, it seems like it's not going to stop. There's much more there that I need to anticipate. Like what the heck. Bring it on. The heck I care. I'm putting on my armor, and may God bless me. Real good.

*********************

A part of me wants to break free, and a part of me is saying that I need to let everything go--Let go and Let God. I see the point, yes, I've taken that path long before, I've done it so many times, and I just made that point already--AGAIN (last Sunday to be perfectly frank), and I'm saying, i'm not going to be tired of crying, on my knees saying all the pains I've gone through and going through. This is me, and a part of me so attached with my God, is something I'll never, ever exchange for anything.

All that I am, is His. Every breath, every heart beat and every strand of my hair are all His. Now i'm going to take everything I've said back to the person I've said these things to, because honestly, I wouldn't be here, if it wasn't because of my God.

*****************

Breath in. Breathe out.

Creating copies.

RESPECT.

2010-07-01T11:27:00.003+09:00

Respect.

learn to earn and give respect.

At home.

and at work.

RESPECT.

I live my life. I'm living it right. I'm living it, wholeheartedly happy. And I won't waste my time now, figuring out the reasons why in the world you did it, for all i care. Respect. You don't know anything about me and my life. I'm living mine with proper silence, so don't break it. I mean it.

So i'm betting you'll live yours.

Respect.

Blame game

2010-06-23T13:26:00.003+09:00

I don't know who's or what's to blame.

Is it the traffic that seemingly never ends till the end of time?

Or is it because I feel like I'm still going to school, walking pass or walking with bunch of high school students who pretty much preoccupied, thinking that their first day would be as high as what Parokya ni Edgar famously quote/sang/composed (pathetically true), "first day high".

NO.

Believe it or not, me or them, i bet we all ended up getting there late.

Yes, i'm talking about lateness again, ladies and gentlemen. Hands up, all tied down, i'm telling the truth. And now, who's the one to blame? HAHAHA. blame game. (DISCLAIMER: (LOLWHUTS. heeeeeeeeey, i was late because my body's too talkative complaining how much it was all beaten up because of Lope's oh-sheesh laptop and all the pasalubong I had to carry from CDO to Shaw to Fairview. So yeah, i did myself a favor and slept one hour more.)

*************

almost

2010-06-16T20:57:00.001+09:00

I'm seeing it.

It's almost there.

Almost

There.

7 reasons why we get hurt - INQUIRER.net, Philippine News for Filipinos

2010-06-15T15:05:00.000+09:00

7 reasons why we get hurt - INQUIRER.net, Philippine News for Filipinos

'cause when I talk, i talk much.

2010-06-10T18:50:00.004+09:00

Is currently seeking time for herself.

Seeking time for her heart.

Seeking time for everything.

***

Funny, everything started like a blast. For starters, it was like you're on cloud nine. And for others, it's like, "wow. just like that?"

Sometimes, I wanted to get rid of the thought, the idea of hoping that you could read everyone's thoughts. And right now, I wanted to stop and think things thoroughly, without pulling a wrong string. Don't get me wrong. I'm not finishing anything.

I'm just trying to be fair, and to be in ruth to myself, and to everyone I have loved unconditionally. It's so difficult to keep that track and check every now and then that the path you thought you've taken, isn't the path you're going to now. Change of course. And you seem to have a doubt about if you're really the Captain of your Soul.

You wanted to be happy. And happy you were, once.

It's so hard to compete with yourself everytime you do things right. So right, that it really hurts. How would you love someone completely if you can't do yourself a pretty lil favor? How can you love someone if you don't know how? How can you ever prove yourself that you can love the person unconditionally if the person you love kept a record of your wrongs? How can you prove yourself that you can love wholeheartedly despite of all the questions bugging you every single God given night?

So many questions, I don't even have the slightest idea how and what to answer.

God created the world with love and uniqueness.

And right now I don't know if these are just few of God created wonders.

Rain some more.

2010-06-09T17:38:00.005+09:00

I always see the same looking girls everyday.

And they all look just the same.

Yes, the same.

****

I am halfway done with my copies, and all so done with my cms pages.

and i'm writing this off because I had this feeling of pushing myself to write something meaningful. And I just can't simplify the thought, because he's always in my head. Pathetic. Unbelievable.

******

It's like I'm pushing myself to write but my mind is so all messed up because I just simply, no wonder, sleepy--again. Hey, the weather's nice. Nice. Cold and rainy. HAHA. I wanna doze off. :)

******

Imma watch karate kid with.. Now, i don't know with whom. HAHAHA. :)

Seriously I feel sleepy.

Rain come down, more and more, till I sleep some more! :) hahaha.

The coldness here in the office is just so awesome. :)

HK with :)

2010-06-09T15:53:00.005+09:00

I got the shirt!

oh yeah.

I got the shirt!

Shirt from HK with :) I didn't expect the canister/candies though. Waaa, i feel well loved. :) Thank you Rommer! :)

Rolling in 2.3.1. ACTION! :)

2010-06-02T18:28:00.010+09:00

One thing I really hate accepting is me being such a sleepyhead in the morning. And last week, i was suffering again the "failure of early attendance". Yes, friends, foes, stalkers, parents and admirers. I was again, practicing procrastination of waking up early last week. Hey, I didn't notice I was procrastinating. Man, this is serious.

I was seeing all 30/40 minutes lates, and oh boy, i was like "WHAT HAPPENED????" even I myself couldn't think of anything else why. Oh yeah. Just one. SLEEPINESS.

MUST.GO.BACK.TO.WAKING.UP.EARLY.OR.ELSE.I'M.DOOMED.

Why, this week's starting great for me. Well, not that great great, but just great great. I just don't see the the point why i got those Ooooh-booooooy-i'm-dead lates from last week. I'm so disappointed. Kaenes.

GREAT.

Just great.
******

Posting few pictures from the Mysandbox.com vid shoot.

Me and Kuya Julius were messing around, since I just couldn't take photos while we're taking takes. haha. wala akong P.A. LOL. :))

HAHAHA. I took his glasses!! Pretty nerdy eyeglasses! I LIKE! :)

Yeah, i know. Crazy right. HAHAHA. MEET THE REAL JAMIE. :)

The guys were filming Kuya Julius' scene, and heck, i couldn't help but laughing at him, so i diverted my attention taking up pictures off cam. :)

After the 2nd scene. :) yeahdvdboy plus gun girl. YEAAAH KISS MY GUN! :) LOL.

Seriously checking every scene and stuff. :)) The masscom way. :)

One hot sister lovin. :)

2010-06-01T17:56:00.005+09:00

You and you.

2010-06-01T16:31:00.007+09:00

Yeah. Whatever the reason, I miss him.

Big time.

****

I never thought I'm going to be really close with these awesome girls from work. And through these hard times, tight girl bonding is what I really needed, especially when I feel like going out of my station and look for someone who isn't there anymore. Yeah, i'm diverting my attention to people who are really close to my heart.

And oh.

Work. :)

*******

Kuya Julius of Cunejo called me few hours ago, asking me to be one of their talent for a reenactment of a Sandbox.com tv ad.

It's funny, 'cause everytime he needed a talent he never fails to forget this lil meanie hazel eyed girl. And boy, don't forget the guy. This guy is so talented that he can write scripts for comedy tv sitcoms. Now that's PRETTY REALLY HARD. Hirap kaya magisip ng ihihirit mo. If ever I got discovered, probably he's the reason--no wonder. And now i'm making my advance speech (LOL): To you skinny awesome four-eyed multitalented tv person, you rock! Peacel, love and ROCK AND ROLL! :D (yeah, a big thanks to you too, YES YOU--my superwoman big sistah. My real life super prima donna experience doin that Star Magic's Hannah Trina Flores' music video is just as awesome as US. :D)

Music Vids. Commercials. Tv Docus. Haha.

But I wouldn't exchange my work for anything else now. I'm loving it, and please, I feel contented. I only do this "talent" thing because I enjoy doing it. Kaysh?

Good. :)

***

oh boy. I can feel now the 2 nights sleep deprivation. Darn it. I'm so sleepy. :|

2010-05-28T13:38:00.002+09:00

When it comes to feeling this (again), all i ever want to do is to sleep this thing off.

Ayoko isulat dito.

Sasama lang loob ko.

Putik

Another note that made me and my sister go "whoa".

2010-05-26T12:13:00.003+09:00

Amazing. Thanking Ate Ye. :D love you panget. :D

******************************************

Following is the text of the newspaper column by Mary Schmich that has been erroneously identified on the Internet as a speech by Kurt Vonnegut.

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of 1997:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Oh worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 P.M. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

IM MAD!

2010-05-25T15:36:00.002+09:00

How can someone put everything on a blog.

Yeah, okay. You got the girl. So what?

You're goin to tell the whole wide world how and what you did?

C'mon.

Gimme a break.

lkbexigtruwagedkaewgtormx Oqwe8ry3qwo8nudpx!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Owsum. :)

2010-05-25T11:21:00.002+09:00

And yeaaaaaah.

I'm wearin my company ID! :)

AWESOME DOWESOME! :)

haha.

Someone told me I look like Barbie's lil sister in my id photo. Like, wtheck. hahahaha. :))

Yeah, i miss my curly long hair too, you know.

Darn it.

Imma watch the Karate Kid with Bes, and Choi! yeaaaaaaaahboooooi!

Bowling na to for the 2nd time! Imma beat bes! :) 4 sets all strikes! yessss!

OOOOOOOOOOWSUM. :)

double time.

2010-05-25T11:05:00.004+09:00

Everyone's trying to add me on Facebook.

Last night, I checked my facebook account at home and i found myself accepting numerous (like NUMEROUS) friend requests from people I don't even know--at all. Imagine. Girls, boys, gays, and yes, lesbians.

I used to reject requests from people whom I don't even know before because :

1. I don't know them,
2. and for the obvious reasons, they just wanted to stalk me just because my profile picture seemed interesting.

Hey, i'm not being too proud about myself, come on-- just think about it. people just add people just because they look good in pictures. HAHAHAHA. Geez, i'm so mean. Honest mean. C'mon, admit it, I've got a point. HAHAHA. :))

So yeah, this time i'm making an exception.

Why?

Ask him. :)

Napagtanto ko.

2010-05-21T11:46:00.002+09:00

Nabablangko ako.

Eto na siguro ang una't huling pagsusulat sa tagalog.

Hindi ako makapagsulat ng kung ano. Siguro dahil Biyernes ngayon at inisip ko nalang matulog at matulog na lang.

Napagtanto ko, na ayoko managalog. Di ako marunong managalog sa pagsusulat ng blog, dahil nakasanayan ko magsulat sa ingles.

So yeah, im writing this in English.

Whew.

Nosebleed.

Kiss on the other cheek, coz I've been slapped the on the left.

2010-05-20T18:43:00.008+09:00

This wild chick from California doesn't want to keep her flag down on me.

Yeah.

Girls hittin on me don't give me the "shock" anymore.

And this time, it's like a big kiss on the cheek.

Oh, yeah, right cheek.

She was giving me these full first straight forward questions that i first handily thought of--*blank*

Like seriously.

And I ended up the pretty much the innocent lil pup.

Omg, this is so not happening.

*****
UPDATE:
and everyday, she's giving me the impression that she really WANTS to talk with me. Grrr. IMMMMMMAAAAA GIRL. Straight girl, for petesakingskessaker sake!

ampness!

2010-05-20T17:54:00.001+09:00

hah.

seriously.

That's it?

Mehn.

Okay.

*exit*

LOL. :))

Mesmerized.

2010-05-20T10:51:00.003+09:00

One blog post for this day, and i'm all set.
Just please, let me write and post this. Please.

Okay.

I'm feeling my stomach's churning, because I know i left our house too early that i arrived here at work so darn late. Fine. I skipped breakfast, who cares. Everyone's doing it. So why can't i?

Anyways, the reason for the super immediate blog post is...

Yeah. Why does he have to be soooo freaking good lookin'?

Omg.

You're being so so so so so amazingly mean.

Why can't you just let me go? Instead of holding my other hand and you hold another one, no-- someone else's hand on the other end?
Why are you making things that are so hard for me to ignore?

Dammit.

You're so being unfair.

P.S:

Yeah, you look soooo freakin' amazingly good with your grad pictures.

You amazed me.

Again.

I hate it.

Too Girly to Handle

2010-05-18T18:31:00.005+09:00

Yeess.

I've done so much for this day. Supahwoman. :)

And for today's post, let's be kikay. :D

Last weekend, I got a new shade of Sansan lipgloss. It's not like the other lipgloss that I had, though i think this one's pretty. :)
Plus it matches my cheek tint color, Nichido Cheek Tint. :)

Okay, too girly. Can't stand it. :))

the least I can do.

2010-05-17T15:37:00.002+09:00

fool one more time.

2010-05-17T15:06:00.001+09:00

I want to sing this thing off!

...only gonna play the fool one time..

dimmit.

I can't see through walls. But i definitely can kick your ass. :)

2010-05-15T16:53:00.004+09:00

Kick-Ass, Baby! :)

I remembered how I was fascinated with this film. Yeah, kids oozing with angst, with guns in their hands, bone-crushing scenes, and foul words with coolness in it. Hey, i didn't say it was really bad or rude (well, yeah actually. LOL) but hey, you'd get to appreciate the film if you're a kiddo like me. (kiddo? who me? get over it. LOL) So yeah, Kick-Ass was really stupid, but brave. Hit Girl was really awesome, but still a girl. Just watch the movie. :)

Hit Girl.

Kick-Ass.

suga suga howdya get so fly?

2010-05-15T14:55:00.005+09:00

I didn't know I was writing too fast yesterday that I didn't notice I've written things far off easily without proofreading it. LOL. OCness ignored. LOL. :))

So okay. Glenn Paul Contawe (from the land of Cagayan de Oro) wanted me to mention his name in one of my posts, and here ya go. Be happy labss. :) LOL.

Me and few of my high school buddies went out out after work and celebrated my birthday.

Yes, I've been celebrating my birthday for three days straight now and guess what. I'll be celebrating it again tomorrow with my college 'kada. OMG. LOL. :))

And i seriously realized that I'm getting--big. I can't find my chin, and I couldn't even breathe. Now that's serious. LOL.

Supah bored to the nth level.

I'm cuttin my hair shorter.

Soon.

WORK WORK WORK WORK

2010-05-14T18:34:00.008+09:00

I'm finding more ways to get this sleepiness out of my system whenever I'm on the brink of working too darn hard just to meet my planned target. And I haven't failed myself--yet. And I have no plans of getting all my hopes up and ditching them just like that. No way. No, no, no.

So see, Dj and I were talking about Singapore last night and since I was really planning to visit my cousin in Singapore, my interest about the idea rekindled (again, to be honest) and he was like,

"yeah jamie, treat yourself naman. Try going to HK muna. Kasi Singapore is kinda expensive compared to HK"

Yeah. True 'nuff.

But anyways, I'm posting my wishlist (AGAIN!) and I'm so planning to get these things just to pay my hard workin' days over. :)

DSLR. Who wouldn't want one? Fo sho. This is self explanatory. :P
iPhone. AGAIN. Lost my first baby and i'm makin' another one. LOL. :D
Singapore/HK holiday trip. :D
iPad. :D SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET. :D
Eatin' without getting fat. (now, this is impossible. HAHAHAHA.)
..Cant think of anythin else. :))

And yeah, that's the simple yet pain in the neck wishlist. So yeah, i'm going to work my butt off pretty darn well, and the rest of my life would be like: WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK. HAHAHAHAHAHA. :))

..

2010-05-10T17:39:00.004+09:00

I miss my iPhone. For real.

And as for my birthday wish, please, I want to get my iPhone back, dear mister klepto. For real.

Please come back to me.

I've earned you too darn well.

Oh geez.

My friend took this for me, using his iPhone. This is from his iPod touch, and the intention was just to annoy me. Dimmit. I hate you.

Cooooooooooooooome baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.

dang.

.

2010-05-06T23:14:00.002+09:00

I feel like I wanted to talk to someone.

I just got home and I don't feel like watching "Alice in Wonderland" now.

I wanted to talk to someone. Because I feel that the next coming weeks aren't going to be smooth as I have always thought.

Think about it.

Bakit pa kailangang i-celebrate ang birthday kung di mo naman feel na kailangang i-celebrate pa diba?

Eventhough I really wanted to make my day extra special, I just couldn't find a reason or an idea on how to make it something oh so owsum. Heck, sino ba nagimbento ng birthdays.

Pagod na ko. Ayoko na magisip. Grabe. Gusto ko lang ng kausap.

yun lang.

formspring.me

2010-05-06T00:36:00.001+09:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/ohnoitsjamie

formspring.me

2010-05-05T23:19:00.001+09:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/ohnoitsjamie

Batmehn.

2010-05-05T23:16:00.005+09:00

Ooookay.

I just arrived from work/Sm North, and funny how i just dropped my bag on the couch and started typing this away without changing clothes or whatsoever. I know.

I hang out with Daz and Ayo earlier because Daz got his incentive and that pretty much lead to treating us somewhere close to fine... dining. hahaha. :) The food was okay, though I have to admit, it was not.. satisfying. Hey, girls eat like hella lot too you know. haha.

I feel like dozing off but fine, i'll sleep later. Got lots of things in mind. :)

So yeah, three kids were eating somewhere in Sm North, and yes, that was actually the SECOND TIME/DAY that we were talking like business minded young pros. Seriously. We were like talking BIZNEZ baby. BIZNEZ.

I was on a serious 3 minutes trance there, thinking--hold on. I think we already had this conversation. Are we seriously serious about this? And the moment I realized I'm THERE, i overheard them saying, "oo, magisip na kayo ng pwedeng ilagay..blah blah.." So there, i smelled RESPONSIBILTY.

and oh.

ADULTery. HAHAHA. (dang. what i'm trying to say was ADULTHOOD. HAHAHAHA. :))

So the whole topic was getting intense 'cause i smelled seriousness in it. I thought it was just a joke, but no. It wasn't.

I feel like this "plan" is going to work (fingers crossed, aiming for the gold. no, bacon) and it's going to be BIIIIIIG. Like colossal. Famous. And yeah, chicks gonna dig it like hot chocolate fudge. :)

So yeah. Young Pros. YOPROS. hahaha.

will this work?

bahala na si batman.

batcave, i'll doze off. :)

epic fail. oh, epic FAILS. :))

2010-05-05T15:57:00.006+09:00

Daaaaymn. Need to focus. Nuff browsing!

Deeeeym.

2010-05-05T13:41:00.003+09:00

There are times that feel like all i want to do is just lay down and sleep. And today isn't any different from any other day. I want to sleep.

And what i'm doing right now isn't getting any better.

If you're wondering why I'm writing this, aside from the fact that i'm doing my work and all that jazz, well I just miss writing. These lil almond brown eyes are just too tired seeing the same old stuffs over and over. And the thought of todaaaay's THE payday, isn't helping me at all. Craaaaaaap. :| what's wrong with me. Oh yeah, probably if you're going give something for me to rejoice about, like say, AN INCREASE, oooooh boooy, i bet you'll see my name everywhere. oooh boy, employee of the month. Dream. Dream. Dream. On.

Yeah, that seems dreamy. Daaaaamn, i'm killing my time writing these stuffs runnin in my head. I'm going crazy. Who wouldn't be? Seriously, if you're on my shoes right now, gotta bet, you'll lose it waaaay earlier.

I feel like i'm being blunt every single second, i feel like I want to sleep on the floor and the rest is history.

Deeeeym.

This is nuts.

I wanna do something intellectual. I wanna read something educational. I wanna hear something new.

Oh boy.

I'm getting stupid.

Hitting Up my Wonder Wall.

2010-05-04T13:34:00.002+09:00

I was reading my notes on Facebook, and I saw this post I made few months back. This is about a guy who thought that he could've have me, but I was way too sure that his kind isn't my type. Not getting anything yet? Here. Read it.

*****
I'm writing this out because i know i have something to say. about everything and about you. I haven't seen your face, nor talked with you vis a vis, probably because of the idea that i am too fond of something that i really believe in.

And so there you go. I don't know what to say and i dont know where to begin with. You stumbled and you cried, and left me no choice but to say something I don't want to say. You left me so speechless with your words, both romantically inclined and heartbreaking on the other end. I've known your words for fourteen days and you know how i break them off that easily. So where does this go? You'll see, im just starting to talk.

I almost trusted your words, and to be honest, i find them too cool. Ii thought these, these amazingly romantically created words are just FEW of the things of what really made you--what and who you are now. But boy, i think im realizing these all wrong. i didn't know that words came off with such a whip on the head, realizing that these are just words. Like words that can tear up someone's heart into pieces. Like words that can make someone fall in love endlessly. And so, i demanded more than words, and there i thought you would. Day by day, i was hoping for changes and i suddenly woke up with such a dire thought, a thought that you couldn't do anything about something i thought you can do best. I thought so much that i ended losing hopes slowly. What can a girl do? she just expected. So there, she put everything to a test. for you and for herself.

i tried to be fair. to you and to myself. So i made another beginning and it ended really awful. I reached out, you wouldn't even dare to look at my hand. I tried to talk to you, you wouldnt even dare to open your mouth-- Oh yes, you did. you tried so so so hard, but with whom? Me? I dare not to say.

The friendship i really tried to save with all my heart and all my might ended with no one on the other end. probably yes, i have my own faults, but who says saying the truth is so wrong? It may be not wrong but it can hurt. And i am so certain that i did hurt you. from telling the truth. from being honest. and from being who i am.

They say that if someone's really into you, he'll accept you for who and what you are. Did you?

I did.

Don't even ask yourself if really did, because I REALLY REALLY SO FREAKING DID.

It just that you've crossed the line.

And that's messing up with my feelings.

And now im more messed up with it because i ended up forgiving and giving you endless chances just to see how your words can be so true. or so untrue.

Your choice.

formspring.me

2010-05-04T13:18:00.001+09:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/ohnoitsjamie

formspring.me

2010-05-04T13:17:00.001+09:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/ohnoitsjamie

Coughing it all off.

2010-05-01T14:14:00.004+09:00

I just woke up.

My eyes are still tired because of the fun from last night, and I feel like these are giving me the hardest time because of unstoppable tears rolling down every second. Yes, my eyes are tired, and they are killing me. And the reason why I'm doing this despite of my love-hate relationship with my eyes (and have been told twice that I wear contacts which is not true because my eyes are naturally almond-brown.) is because of a fan/friend (LOL. stalker you. :D) who wanted to read more stuffs about something that keeps me in sane (or the opposite). Or maybe more and more stuffs about me. How should I know? Can you tell? Guess not. :P

Last night was crazy, and awkward. Maybe because I was feeling crappy till 7pm, and needless to say, i felt like i'm going to crash down with all the coughs and the rain. I mean it.

And when we arrived, geez, i started to act like a 16 years old sugar highed silly girl. Crazier.

I know I tend to laugh at things too much, even without a reason (now, that's CRAZY), maybe because I imagine and think of things fast, and that's the thing, people just don't understand that pretty basic psychological behavior. Or maybe i'm just really unique. :)

I started to like working with these kids. Pretty owsum. :)

Geez, i'm hungry. I should get something to bite because seriously, this annoying cough is truly making me feel like P.Diddy.

You just have to know when to stop

2010-03-18T02:00:00.001+09:00

I had this feeling earlier that I'll be writing something out, not out of randomness or curiousity, but out of something really serious, and funny how i end up doing it now.

So this note that i'm writing is actually about the people i went to high school with, and if some of you doesn't know who, and what i'm talking about (and if you feel like skimming the whole note down), you can click that red X box on the upper right corner of your window, and leave. Seriously. If you feel that you aren't involved in to this one, please close the window. I don't want to waste your time.

I was listening to some few good tracks on my playlist and i was texting my good high school friends since I never had the chance to talk with each and everyone of them everyday through text. The typical texting drama, i sent out group messages, wanting to hype things up alittle bit since the night was like hell. Few replied, and a good kind friend replied. Then the next thing i knew, i was all derangedly disappointed to everything I knew from right then on.

Revisting High School

High school was the craziest, sometimes boring (HAHAHA), kinda one of the happiest time of my life. Crazy people, emotional love outbreaks, insanely brainiacs scattered all over the place. But hey, that was amazing. It was the point where I ought to learn big things in life not by just reading books or listening to my teachers...say, it was a smooth turn. And it was all my friends all along from high school that kept me doing what i got to do and what i love to do. People may try to mess my friends' life, sure go ahead, but one thing I want people to know. I know who and what they are straight from the heart and I know these people from the start. Yes, friends may have some misunderstandings, but hey friends inevitably love each other, so why waste time ignore each other and leave the case hanging? It's funny, really. Grow up, if i may add. This, isn't like your own favorite teen drama series. please.

Friendship ain't just that enough

It started couple of years ago when a common friend put a nasty joke on a friend through a social networking site. It wasn't really a clever move, not even a smooth start. So all the blame was all casted down to this person without even knowing what was going on. I've read few articles before about internet bullying or sms bullying(---AND IF YOU GUYS ARE FOND OF DOING IT, SERIOUSLY STOP. This can ruin someone's life big time. Ruthless and immature thing to do. Please don't. Psychologically speaking, you're sick if you've done this.) So yes, the person got a freak name ( i'm not going to name it here) and it was crazy. He was judged accidentally because the truth didn't came out soon.

Over Protective.

say, im a very loving person. Friendly, in fact i even wished that I could extend my arms and hug the whole world. I know. And honestly, one thing i really hate about this kind of friendship thing is seeing or hearing people push my friends down because of some lame name or whatever they did in the past, too late. Yes, i might sound i'm kinda protective but hey, these are my friends. I know you wouldn't want this to happen to any of your friends, right? Plus, I hate it when people name my friends sick names or whatever. I hate it when people make stories about them just for, say, fun. And I hate it when people hardly realize what kind of sick jerks themselves. Seriously. I'm not usually the type that goes in and gets into trouble not because i love making one, but I want things to be clear, as much as possible. I want this to be settled diplomatically but hey, some just don't know how to be diplomatic (and what diplomatic means) and sometimes a good hard knockin' on the head seems to work nicely.

Stop naming names. Stop making stories. And stop making sick jokes, it's not even funny any more. If you're a true friend, you wouldn't do anything like this to them.

The art of music

2010-03-15T18:17:00.001+09:00

sometimes I don't understand why I kept on watching song covers/snippets on youtube. And whenever I see Aj Rafael on vid or Cathy Nguyen singing while smiling back at whoever she's singing the song with, I always remember why.

People with such great talent deserve such attention and adoration. And people like them ought to be acknowledged, whatever their race, nationality, color or sexual preference--it's all the same. People with these awesome musical gifts come together because they know they share something in common. They're different. They're talented. They're geniuses. They know their league.

See, greatness can not be measured by how you've been brought up or how hard you life was. It's about what you got and its how you show it despite life's hardships.

I have alot friends here who got alot of talent, just like my good close friend Don, who seemed to be a G-clef genius. And yeah, Ramon here who, i think would be the next Jason Mraz. Shad, who never run out of oxygen from beatboxin' everytime we get talk over the phone with some other friends. Marck Joseph, with the pure music heart, who never fails to learn music and loves it with all of his life.

See, these people (aside from the friends I know who know music more than I do), are few of those that are willing to dedicate their time to share their passion about what they can do.

And sometimes, with all that I can do, and all that I've been blessed, i think singing, dancing and the heart of knowing how the music flows aren't just enough.

We all lack of how to do it and how to share it.

yeah, and i think youtube is the thing.

just a random thought.

:)

It's better to be called crazy than to be called nothing

2010-03-15T00:25:00.001+09:00

i'm running out of ideas.
And i think, this would probably help me find words to say.

I wasn't feeling fine for a week, and thinking that i'd be feeling better if i'll keep staying in bed for another week, then i probably can finally go out partying with Mavie and Shad on whatever day I'd be free after. But that ended a bit too overrated for me, coz I know that this idea (if ever) would be the lamest, immature-st idea i've ever thought yet. And yes, It didn't turn out fine. In that 5 days of being so helplessly deaf and after feeling crappy, I realized few heads up before jumping into the pool of moroseness.

I guess this is what every turn of summer makes me always do. Contemplate. Stand my ground. Faith. Believe. Know my purpose. And i literally thank God for summer. This season always reminds me where I'm heading to and where I'm walking. I mean, no detour no left and definitely no right, just straight. Focus. Forward.

It's funny how i find this now hard for me to let everything out because it's not a simple, "i-did-this-and-i've-done-that-this-day" kind of thing. It's like im facing thousands of people and i'm telling my faith story and thinking that these people may find that im losing it or something--but no. Seriously, right now, i don't care. A person who can stand up with conviction needs not to worry at about anything. As long as you know what's right, you are right. And that person isn't going to be just someone else. That's going to be me. It maybe you, but hey, I'm God's beautifully created being too, so what's wrong claiming it?

And i guess, i'm still suffering from a mild writer's block again, but wow, i made it this long. haha.

I feel kinda weird.

oh well.

:)

I can do whatever I like.

2010-03-03T17:27:00.001+09:00

i was typically bored with my day and so finally i thought that i need to do something with it (knowing that our net acted really kind of stupid yesterday) and realizing so bluntly i couldnt get online because of it. So I was really bored and I cheered myself like a quirky poshy cheerleader with, "ITS O-KAY, ITS AAAAAL-RIIIIGHT, GOOOOOOOOOOOOO ONLINE JAMIEEEEEE!"

i know its been really really hot and i think all my gastric juices went all the way up to my brain and i think it somewhat damaged my brain, not permanently i hope.

and because of that whole gastric juice mayhem, i started trying my luck to get connected, and browsed the net like i used to.

I saw this amazing, plainly beautiful blog site (yeah yeah, pretty blogger, i know) and it got me really obsessed AGAIN with fashion. :)

I was kinda stuck with New Yorker slash bohemian look for 2 years, and still i only got, say few couple of pictures wearing these kinds of clothes. I just find it really fun and inspiring to see these creative fashion statements being shared. See, i'm getting really tired of seeing the usual whatever style there is here, every time i go out. So what's wrong wearing differently among the rest?

I remember my sisters complaining the way I dress up, looking stylish and all, while i don't have anything to buy with. And so what? hahaha. And there was my mom, adding up the whole thing saying "you dress up good, you're not even tall to begin with." Like what? say, my height again? Heeeeeeey, my height's cute. not small, not even tall. 'kay? haha. Funny, last few days ago, my dad was searching something on the net, and i was on my way out and he said "where are you going? what are those things on your fingers? why are you wearing makeup?" finally i couldnt take it anymore, i said, "Anoooo baaaa. im not a kid anymore. MATANDA NA KO. I need to change. What do you expect? lollipop and candies? not anymore!" And he finally said, "its like its not you anymore." Gaaaaaaah. i hate it. :(

too tired to talk

2010-03-01T18:09:00.002+09:00

It's never easy. Never.

I had few talks with someone from high school late night till morn. And I thought i could handle everything nice and dandy but, oh well it turned out crazy.

So it started as a joke. or something that we just started out of boredom. And then the conversation got really intense because I seem to mentioned something about growing up.

Needless to say, this point of discussion seemed too overrated, but hey, it's a fact. And yeah i told him everything about my ideas, being stuck in a realm called Neverland, and we pretty much agreed to what have been said.

So yeah, that's the blah.

and i think im too tired to get this one over.

yeah, tired.

:\

i'll talk next time. :)

A lil bit of everything

2010-02-24T17:08:00.001+09:00

I have everything that is so random.

And everthing, I say, is random.

So where do I start? You tell me. Im nudging my head over and over, thinking of anything to say just to clear this messed up brain, once and for all.

And so what about happiness?

Yeah sure. Happiness. And everything that i have to say about this, isnt worth your time. So I'll pass. I'll probably let you ask Don Encarnacion instead. He knows happiness better than I do. I mean it. :]

Oooh. What about heart breaks? Nah, Ask Charlemagne Mendoza, he knows better. HAHAHA. :\

Friendship? Heeey bes, mind if you could share? :)

Sorrow? Ooooh, i got one. Rechim, mind if you could take the floor instead? :]

Trust? yeah, not that thing you see on tv, with Robin Padilla's head popping out of that stuff--NO. If you had me way ahead, you, little sneak, has a green ever mind. So yeah, i think everyone has something to say about this. trust. In friendship. Relationship. Whatever -ship there is, THIS MATTERS.

Not only that, it matters most everywhere. Like at work, home, school, chatrooms, facebook (yeah, FACEBOOK, trust me, this happens. see? like right now?), and to ourselves.

One thing I've learned two days ago is this: You can have everything in the world, but family and friends, aside from God, gives you one thing that sometimes we ended up losing--TRUST. We sometimes forget to trust ourselves in everything that we love to do. We forget that what we have in us, is what can make us. This is me. That is you. What I am. Who I am. What you are. Who you are; is shaping us in to a really better person in the future. I realize that what we have in us, we need to trust ourselves to reach our dreams. Whatever that is; if want to be a celebrity, bank owner, a well known guitarist, an accountant, a journalist, a nurse, a president or even a CIA agent, name it -you can achieve it. Just trust in yourself and have that faith in you always, you'll get there. It just the matter of how you'll use what you've got.

And so this is what i have i think in mind. and i'm writing this in such a straightforward matter--because this matters. Who else's there when you need some lifting up?

hey, ask that person beside you. He/she might need alittle bit of nice hugging and a little bit of everything. :)

Just thinking straight.

See yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah. :]

meenee meenee maynee moe.

2009-10-06T13:31:00.003+09:00

spies, spies, spies

why were you making such lies?

dead are resting on their graves,

stop making lies out of your rage.

he, NOWHERE, and social diversity.

2009-10-06T12:54:00.005+09:00

and the guy i was waiting for the longest time is here, chatting with me about "NOWHERE."

its funny how two people have finally talked after forever ago about something so random. And it started how I made an impact with what I said earlier somewhere over the world wide web.

The second I posted something so randomly made such an impact to alot of people--yes i wished I wrote something so significant about world peace, poverty and everything so touchy, but hope against hope, i just didnt.

minutes have passed and comments were starting to flood their way to insanity. The objective WAS this: to make an impact, and difference it will make. But as soon as the quick sand rushed, the thought became blunt and weird. Everyone was trying to give out their opinion about NOWHERE--hey i didn't expect this neither YOUR reaction about this. It was solely about being something I really wanted the whole time and everyone was making up their own guesses and even, worst, tagging alot of negative connotation about how this word burned emotions from to and fro, that i even so randomly and seldomly use. and being so innocent and so hit by the bat on the head i made it clear that its not being an emo everytime the word go out and used by many (or something so suicidal) It's just a word for Pete's sake, and people are just so fond of making and putting meaning with words that it just so happens it was contently used over the net by a large common group.

and the tagging and social diversity started at this point.

And believe me or not, it's not my fault.

or was it?

lost and--lost.

2009-05-16T17:48:00.001+09:00

She lost her cool. She kept on holding on for hours. weeks. years. semesters. Yet dreams do fail, and plans go blank.

The night she thought that life would be good, ended up grabbing her heart and teared it up with pinning pain.The dreams she thought that would bring her to land of somewhere begins to drop her off to land of nowhere.

lost, she was, her self, her focus.

Life begins to turn down, a joke.

Treading every mill, she surpassed

but this time, she thinks she might fall down

terribly.

helpless.

clueless.

Playlist for V.

2009-05-14T14:47:00.004+09:00

I made a playlist for the people I've hang out with last 2 weeks ago. Tagging you guys here. :)

21 years and hopefully, still counting.

2009-05-14T13:27:00.003+09:00

Okay. Happy belated 21st birthday, Jamie.
********

namimis ko na ang buong Mercury barkada.

the Landiables.

the Hatteeeeeessee.

:(

no manna.

2009-05-14T13:01:00.003+09:00

Okay. Don't ask God for giving you a nice, good day EVERYDAY because you are not even nice and good to start with.

I am not judging you for who you are, but you've done so much damages already. really. And many can speak of the truth, no matter how much you deny it. You've given the person so many pains already that you don't have any idea what he went through from loving you deeply. I've been your friend, yes, but when it comes to hurting one of my nicest friends, it's different.

Stop making him believe that what you have for him is more than just being friends. See, you should make this clear. You shouldn't have given the person the hope that everything is going to work out. Friends with benefits? Yeah that is. But tell me, aren't you just happy that this person is loving you deeply, yet all you can do is to give him the same old pain?

If you can't love the person, don't abuse his feelings.

i have--we have accepted you for who you are--stubborn. You dont even care if people talk trash about you-- I can't blame them. You gave them the reason to. You relatively gave them the idea of what and who you really are.

So stop asking the Heaven for good manna to fall down.

It's not going to happen.

trust me.

starting with the end.

2009-05-10T05:37:00.000+09:00

I am back to where I stand. And at this earthly hour I began to confess the improbable reasons why life loves to hit me back everytime I give something good for myself.

I worked really hard-- i wake up early every morning. I even tried to catch every single water mist SO EARLY in the morning just to have something good for myself. I have given my smiles-- for which I gladly shared for the people I actually learned to love and accept. I have given my thoughts-- for being too quiet seemed too obsolete to share. I have given my hopes-- laughs and hugs, for i know nothing is comparable to the insane friendship which i have built with the people I learned to cherish so much.

I am not simply bragging, I'm mourning. For the day that I should've marched and made my parents proud, I have given myself (friends, and family) tears-- tears of sorrow. I'm not certain if ever i made the right choices, but I'm not regretting any of these. Simply because i enjoyed every single God given day.

Now I'm struggling whether if I'm taking the path where my dreams are waiting, or I'm going to the path where life is waiting for me to fix everything--from the start.

They say failure is the best starting point.

For how many failures I have made, I am uncertain to which one to start with.

and today, oh yes, good morning sunshine, I'll leave my case.

comparison.

2009-05-03T18:28:00.002+09:00

She's crazy, he's crazier.

She's funny, he's funnier.

He's smart, but she's smarter.

quits. :)

*************

PHILantrophical AMbassador BOYder. (the hell. this one doesn't make sense)

2009-05-02T16:19:00.003+09:00

What i hate about you.

2009-05-01T06:29:00.002+09:00

Okay. I missed half of my life pretending that i am okay-- I talked and walked, realizing that i'm getting blunt because I haven't written alot in ages.

I'm done crying, yes, and I'm done pushing myself too much because of one thing. I have realized that life is too darn short to make it miserable. Life deserves a chance. We can't just stop doing something good for ourselves. We need it. We need to grow. We need to exist. We are here for something. Who knows, maybe that person sitting next to you is going to be the person you wanted to be with for the rest of your-- life.

.. to be continued.

Infinity and beyond.

2009-02-12T23:53:00.000+09:00

The sun is rising.

And yet the star that I've been watching for 8 hours now is still here with me, waiting for the sun to reign the heavens and let the others sleep.

The clock is ticking.

I want something different. I want something good. I want something real.

I could've let myself into the waters any minute now, yet it loved me so much that the risk of dying is not really what I wanted. I want to see the trees I've planted last week to grow tall as high as my hopes and dreams. I want to see the grass greener than before.

And I want to see everyone as good as sheep. As kind as a loving mother.

But the hopes and dreams I wanted to see are close to impossible. The wind have withered the leaves, like history withered the time. I don't want to compare, but sometimes it hurt so much that you need to do so.

Change.

Why does this word loves to visit me so much? Why, because I need to change for them? for the whole population? Probably. Or maybe because I'm still young, and I have step out for the world. To change.

The world. Do i need to say more?

The life I have is more than I have imagined it to be. The love I have expressed, the love i have given is more than I have invested for my future--I guess. The people I have cherished all the way were beyond words to describe how amazing they were--and they are, still. The change part is harder to accept.

I have realized that I've been talking about two faces of change. The one that causes joy. And the other one that causes pain.

okay, i've seen the ep. just so you know.

2009-02-12T01:21:00.003+09:00

Shared.

2009-02-12T00:42:00.009+09:00

The ice cream was melting, and the laughter from a friend was a gift.

and the laughters were all because of Call Work.

i suggested her to read it. and she did.

and

Gusto nya ng umuwi kaso tinapos nya pa.

I couldn't help but look at what page and strip exactly she was reading.

Ayun. Na-hook na sya.

Amazing, really.

One friend down, millions to go. :)

CHANGE.

2009-02-11T23:23:00.002+09:00

I want to make a difference.

We all want CHANGE.

So why can't we be the CHANGE for the WORLD?

just saying.

He of those who wrote castles, witches, and monsters--amazingly.

2009-02-06T01:03:00.001+09:00

Amazing how it started and how it goes.

It left me a mark of awe when I saw something online, previous to what i thought was coincidental. So yeah, after reading few lines and amazing humor, i realized that his birthday is a day before Neil Gaiman's.

It's amazing, they way i saw it, for the reason that i like Neil Gaiman's stories, and evidently, i like this person's stories as well. i don't know why i like this writer, maybe because he wrote Trese amazingly, or maybe because of his very friendly personality but seriously this guy deserve more than sitting at just one corner, writing amazing stories.

i am all palms out, Sir budjette, writers like you deserve more than all papers and pen. :)

you deserve more than this.

2009-02-01T22:22:00.006+09:00

The ears would have talked,
the mouth should have spoke
of the things that they wanted
so like with all ayes they think they all deserve.

I could have been like this and that,
but i have my own wheel to steer.
For the fact that I've have heard all of your whispers,
i say, stop. for i don't care the less of it.

the words were stained with much adored thought,
Aha! pigs can truly talk!
spoiled, dirty and filthy, the words they speak,
judging people is a fascination to unfold.

bullying is all you can do, and saying things right on my face
likely to be compared to lightyears to happen,
cold feet, you have,
i can't say more of your untowardness.

the lines i tell you right now,
are for you to notice
that someday, like the Heavens know
that you deserve all the hatred a man can give you of.

You'll find me neverwhere.

2009-01-31T01:16:00.005+09:00

before getting things started earlier this afternoon, i went to a bookstore just around here, and i was planning to buy a new pen. But really, that thought was all gone when I saw a Neil Gaiman book and Sandman graphic novel series, aligned with all that books on that shelf which I wished I dared not to look upon, really. hahaha.

So yeah, like the cards i have laid down before, i am an avid fan of Neil gaiman's stories and whattamattas. :) Getting back, like the usual, i put my bag down and started to sit like a child, ON THE FLOOR, never even wondered if people would dare to give a peek and notice me. Anyway, flipping the page of NEVERWHERE, (without even knowing that the book was published way back 1996) geez, I was really having hard time deciding of whether i should buy it or not. i only got 300 bucks, and seriously i even regretted buying and eating earlier before getting in the store.

Really, i want that book. and that sandman comics. for real. real. real. real. geez.

gawd.

P.S.: Television series pala noon ang neverwhere. Grabe. I'm losing half of my life wandering without reading and learning about it anymore. hahaha.

***********

let me see it rhymes.

2009-01-31T01:10:00.001+09:00

Hands in the air, with no obvious flair,
here and there, I don't get this anymore.

Time flies with tunes on rise,
with you, can I still sing, without hearing that ring?

My lines I know that shine
for I know for sure, with you I am forever secure. :)

it ate half of my toes

2009-01-30T02:31:00.002+09:00

The time is running out,
the tides are getting low,
the creeps have gone out,
and ate half of my toes.

the nostalgia danced with the wind,
eyes wondered with the glimpse of unkind,
the haste of chastise, oh heavens forbid!
the memories we kept seemed to flourish with no end.

Stars collide, and moons shall fall
to see the greatness I never really wished to see
circles i turned to run for you
How will i ever get to your end?

flinch.

2009-01-25T01:21:00.003+09:00

The world is getting
dark.

The sun shines
without mercy.

The life becomes
death.

The love encourages
selfishness.

The understanding becomes
busy.

the peace turned
complacent.
stagnant.

where the heck are you.

Chuck me. Chuck you.

2009-01-22T03:22:00.003+09:00

I miss watching Chuck.

I have to wait til February.

grr.

Threading strips.

2009-01-22T02:03:00.007+09:00

The thesis writing proper is worth the life.

The blood.

The drama.

And so the rest is about the comics.

**************
I am a fan of Archie-Betty love pairing. I hated Reggie for some other biased reasons. I grew up reading this. I swear. Bathroom Entertainment, yes, but grabe, its more than that, syempre. hahaha. kinalakihan ko to. :)

I also grew up reading some Marvel and DC Comics. I was 8 or 9 when I started reading them, though as young as that, I thought that these kinds of comics were for kids around 14 or 15. Kakaiba kasi, but then when I read 4 Wolverine comics, like yung orig na sa US nabibili, my ate brought them kasi and I was, "wow, pabasa nga!!!!" shame, hindi ko sya mabasa sa "trono" kasi ang ganda ng quality ng paper eh. Glossy and everything. mahal sya pagnabasa mo ng tubig, yun iisipin mo. Ano pa kaya kung pahiran ng... so yun. :P Iiyak ka pa.

I love Death. She's awesome. Really. Of all the Endless, she surely got my attention. I have two copies of the Death series, the High Cost of Living, which was my favorite, and the other one, The Time of your Life. I have also here the Sandman Book, but i forgot the title, and yeah, avid fan ako ni Neil Gaiman. :)

*I also have the Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's Good Omens, pero i think may nanghiram. argh. :(

Kasabayan ng Neil Gaiman addiction ko ang pagbabasa ng Y: The Last Man. Sobra. Ayos. :) hahahaha. i labit. :D

Local naman, i love pugad baboy. hahaha. the whole world i guess knows why.

the humor. the punch lines. you know it.

hahaha.

Ang kaso lang, like what one of our informants have said, tagalog lang sya, and yung jokes, you can't just literally translate it.. ang hirap hanapan ng exact joke na pwede sa english lang.

Then came, Trese, wawawee. hahaha.

The first time I read the first trese issue, it was photocopied. Ung old school mimeographed or photocopied whatever. My sister from UP brought it here then ako naman si basa, ayun naaliw.

Sa lahat ng dinala nyang comics na independent, eto ata yung unforgettable, for me ha.

The Bayan Knights and the newest ones, hindi ko naabutan or nasundan because, yeah the interest of the whole young population was not actually focused sa isang media lang. Andaming pagpipilian kasi.

Unless kung bookish ka or talagang mahilig ka magbasa, mas gugustuhin pang magbasa ng comics kesa magbalak bumili ng pinakabagong release ng Sony Ericsson na phone ngayon.

Magbalak lang naman. :P

photos for local comics:

Pugad Baboy: http://www.pugadbaboy.pardinas.net/pb_week.php?weekselected=1
Trese: http://picasaweb.google.com/anansi.girl/Blog#5276771910961567042

Two different purposes.

2009-01-22T01:38:00.003+09:00

Wow.

This is something.

Honestly, i'm really trying to finish encoding one of the 15 transcribed interviews, although i'm really dizzy, sleepy and so tired, and it seemed to me that i don't want to sleep and i don't want to do those thesis stuffs for now.

I literally overhauled my blogspot page, and wow, geez, i like it.

And for those people who just check my blogspot merely because they're digging something personal about me or even to what i do with my life now, I say to you, stop. I decided to put my blogspot back because, its not really my intention to be "for private" person. I could be sometimes, but i have the right yeah? And the ideas are too many and i don't like the fact that I write because I want my ideas just for myself, and I don't want them to look like that these are all for my own good. i write because I have a purpose. I don't want my "first love" to be as private as the Presidential Top secret plan or whatever, and I don't want to waste my time and my talent not because someone is actually stalking me or black mailing me or whatever but ultimately for the reason that I write because i have a purpose.

This blog is about what I think and how i think. This is not for your personal black mailing purposes, sorry.

Yes, i am talking to you.

Now sit and read.

Jamie.

Perky, once again. :) if you punch me, i'll punch you harder.

2008-08-25T03:13:00.002+09:00

alright.

I just got home. I ate alot, and seriously who cares? (this is the snobbish, grumpy jamie talking)

Anyway, last week was quite really horrible. I've gone into numerous ordeals, which, by the way made me truly a girl (girl= emotional, grumpy, and perky. Hey i'm not saying i am not. I just became, well more emotional then. :P) but things are over now. and I'm moving on to another chapter of my crazy, dysfunctional life.

Okay. First point of getting back into the new reality, PHOTOGRAPHY.

this is my life. Self explanatory. :)

Second point. Getting and knowing my old self back.

watch and learn. :)

Third point. There are things we need to understand, and to weigh things over.

There's nothing wrong to be sure. Time can tell if things are true and real. :)

**********
Okaaaaaaaay.

like theresa said. "Wag ka na mamoblema, MAGANDA KA!"

Okay sister, let's shake those pompoms. :)

Ayokong ipost dito.

2008-08-13T23:56:00.001+09:00

basta. basta.

BASTA!

kreyzee.

Concussion.

2008-08-06T13:44:00.003+09:00

Psychedelic. Crazy.

Missing friends, pressures from upcoming exams, ugh. I feel like going somewhere, and scream.

i haven't even at least wanted to take a look, or peek even a closer look to our COMM TECH reviewer, for I know I don't have much time to complete it and it seems to me like everything slipped entirely out of grasp. A proper grasp.

Anyway, i wasn't practicing procrastination, alright. Okay, i feel tired and i feel like sleeping again, because it was since yesterday I feel like sleeping all day and all night, and no proper rest since Saturday, and made me blabble things I SHOULDN'T blabbed, in the first place. Blabble? Oh yes, I'm not still well. Excuse my French, dear friends.

So, i feel like taking pictures--a part of my being, yet I cannot for some PROPER reasons-- hey, i can go out, like any minute from now, but I feel like I don't want to. haha.

I feel like watching movies, like marathon, yeah.
I feel like reviewing, yeah, KJ, so later na.

hahaha.

May Lord forgive me now.

Please.

hahaha. :D

Daddy-o got angry with my knee-length skirt

2008-08-05T20:48:00.001+09:00

My dad was in rage just this morning. hahaha. Seeing me wearing knee length balloon skirt, he freaked out and said, "bumalik ka rito..."

I said, "po? bakit?"

"bakit yan suot mo?...--May shorts ka ba?..."

Hindi pa ako nagsasalita biglang sinabi,

"pumasok ka ulit, magshorts ka.."

at humirit pang,

"ung maong na shorts!"

WHAAAAT??.. Ano raw?? maong na shorts? hahaha.

natatawa ako.

paglabas ko, nagtanong sya ulit, at gusto pang makita.

"aaaaaaaay nakooo! late na ko Pa!!!!"

hahahaha. :))

On the Negative Note Pt. 2

2008-07-31T21:44:00.008+09:00

but then writing made me realized few things.

* First, that life is chained with pain, like eyeglasses to me;
* Second, that chances are great, but sometimes can be real dirt.
* third, uncertainties can be tiresome;
* and fourth, you can never coerce a girl.

I have said life is chained with pain because, like what I've said, "life is not always ice creams and cherries on top". Life can offer things--great things, yet they are oh so deceiving. It takes a lot more of (and more than) exercising your wit, or overpowering life's unimaginable creativity to put man to its final resort of hope. Yes, I believe that God created life, but man created misery. It is upon our hands, faith and willingness to see more of Life than to be stuck on this heavy dramatic emotional limbo.

Chances are great. Indeed it is. Excitement, happiness, hopes, you name it, but hey, it’s not about all these super positive perks that chances are giving. Sometimes it can be real dirt. Chances are both sometimes a gift and distraction. Gift, that every little neanderthal can have a chance to exercise the life and the feeling that they exist and to be proud that they're on their league. On the other hand, i presume that chances can be a distraction of what your fate should be. A distraction that triggers your emotional extremes that overpower your intellectual right to contemplate before doing some actions. Oh yes, we all have taken that path. And seriously, I don't know if I could dare myself to at least taking a step on this road.

Uncertainties are tiresome for the fact that it has the power of making you awake all through the night thinking of the possibility of these little uncertains: "are these real?" "Am I right?" "What if..?" Yes, dear, you are uncertain. And yes again, I've been there. Seeing myself before, looking up, saying these lines seems silly, but oh my, it was painful, really.

You can never coerce a girl. Once she said no, with such strong voice, don't even think or try of asking why, what, who, where and what. :D Every word she says, she means it. :D

Parents are..?

2008-07-23T01:46:00.005+09:00

Bothered. Know why. Interviewed Jaen for this. :) Dont mind the "ngongo tono singit sa likod". Sorry naman. :)